Fears

if only you knew
the way i think
the way i try to survive
but theres a fear holding me down
this fear comes as a black figure in my dreams
the monster is why i cant sleep
the monster making my dreams to nightmares
the reason why i cant live in society like you
every dream i awake from leads me to a nightmare
this monster has formed outside my dreams
only to show when im brave to knock me down
just wanting to live but dying everyday
im afraid this monster has won my battle
yet for some reason my body still works
i can touch, i can see, i can smell, i can hear everything but my fear
does that mean its over? did he really win?
or is it my dream that won without me knowing?
the monster hasnt came back yet since the night of the battle
it won so what does this mean?
am i free?
free of the rejection from society
if only you knew the rejection that hides beneath the skin
the fear that makes my skin crawl
yet it sits on the bones like nothing can scare
i swam this far just to drown
i drove this far just to crash
i walked this far just to fall
lived this life just to die
its time to lie upon the grass
theh grass that once held me up from every toe i stepped
from every heart i broke from every tear i shed
from every soul i destroyed
just to make this one
to live forever in the scars you see
am i free?

do you really know who your judging?

Do you really know who you’re with?
Do you really know who she is?
Can you see beneath her surface?
Who are you really judging?
Every person we see wears a mask
But wait it’s not Halloween so why?
Are we sure we aren’t looking in the mirror as we judge?
Who are you really judging?
You would think something went wrong
A person dying
A pet crying
Baby not surviving
You get to the front
To where it all began
But you realize it’s just the black and white picture of society
Where you and I live
To where we judge without knowing
But who are we really judging?
Are we judging the person next to us or the person in the mirror?
The soul we walk on the air we breathe it’s all the same
Yet for some reason I can’t walk in your path
The path where you follow the steps of the south in the civil war
Where blacks are the enemy
But when did they become the enemy?
But our grandparents grew out of that stage and into a new
Where now if you live in 2010
Gays are the enemies
What did they do wrong? How did they become this?
Who are you really judging?
Can’t we all just join the color world?
Where there’s blue, green, red, orange, yellow in all our eyes
To where we can walk down the streets and not be afraid
But this is only a dream that can’t come true
Because we as humans always must judge the person next to us
Yet can’t we realize we are judging the person in mirror
For we aren’t as strong as the person next to us, behind us, in front or beside us
Who are you really judging?
If you really knew that girl in front of you
You would know she’s scared to show who she really wants to be
She has a mask on everyday but Halloween just for you and your judgment
You see she’s scared to sleep just in case that disease you give her every stare you glare
Just might make her not wake up
She’s trying to be herself but something is holding her back
Something every human has but she believes she’s not human
For she doesn’t judge like the rest
There are ones out there just like her
But are they awake?
Every night she wishes this wish at 11:11 just to meet one person like her
Yet the nights just go by becoming nightmares well she’s awake
The wish is now a knife waiting to stab her the minute she dreams
The minute she can be herself to you
The minute she can take that mask off and not be afraid to walk in front of you
She has friends but acts so happy when really in that car window mirror
She sees right though that smile awaiting for that day she is her
That day she can wear what she is for real
If you really knew her
You know you’re judging her just to hide
Your strength in realizing that you
Are the one you are judging.
Can’t you realize that we are all the different
We are what makes this world turn from
Black and white to red, yellow, black, white, brown, blue and green.