Fears

if only you knew
the way i think
the way i try to survive
but theres a fear holding me down
this fear comes as a black figure in my dreams
the monster is why i cant sleep
the monster making my dreams to nightmares
the reason why i cant live in society like you
every dream i awake from leads me to a nightmare
this monster has formed outside my dreams
only to show when im brave to knock me down
just wanting to live but dying everyday
im afraid this monster has won my battle
yet for some reason my body still works
i can touch, i can see, i can smell, i can hear everything but my fear
does that mean its over? did he really win?
or is it my dream that won without me knowing?
the monster hasnt came back yet since the night of the battle
it won so what does this mean?
am i free?
free of the rejection from society
if only you knew the rejection that hides beneath the skin
the fear that makes my skin crawl
yet it sits on the bones like nothing can scare
i swam this far just to drown
i drove this far just to crash
i walked this far just to fall
lived this life just to die
its time to lie upon the grass
theh grass that once held me up from every toe i stepped
from every heart i broke from every tear i shed
from every soul i destroyed
just to make this one
to live forever in the scars you see
am i free?